Lie down in green pastures

Wisdom Of The Spirit

As my personal growth in Biblical understanding has changed me over the years, one thing is for certain. I was not only able to find a treasure buried in a field, I was also able to have that field turn into a evergreen pasture.

“I went and found a treasure buried in a field. Which blossomed into a pasture that I graze on everywhere. And every time that I am out, I want to go back in, and when I come back out again, there is less of me even there.”

The Bible is something truly remarkable. It is awe inspiring. It literally transforms you from the inside out. As I began my journey years ago in my attempt to understand the Word of God, I felt as if I was always coming up short. I went through different churches, different teachers, and different ministers. Yet, one thing kept resounding within my heart, to the essence of my very being. “This is not it. This is not the way.” So I always fell short. I was always disappointed. I never had that peace within me that the Holy Scriptures speak about. What was it that I was missing? What was it that I wasn’t doing correctly? What mistakes were I making? The simple answer is this. I kept putting my faith and trust in man over the Lord Himself, and over His words. The Bible says, “you needn’t any man teach you.” I had a brother who I still hold dear to my heart reveal quite a bit of truths about the Word of Life. Yet even then, the Spirit kept bringing things to my mind that I would have to bring into question. So here I was again with more Biblical revelation and more Spiritual understanding then I had ever dreamed of obtaining. Although, that still, small voice continued saying to me, “this is the Way.”

My life has brought many heartaches, many disappointments, a child with disabilities, and many things that I myself lost. I suffered a stroke and a cerebral hemorrhage a couple of years ago and literally lost everything. I lost most of the use of my tongue. I lost the ability to breathe without a Tracheostomy tube being present. My vocal cords are paralyzed. I have no gag reflex. I lost the ability to swallow for a time. My throat is twisted upon itself and narrow. I suffer with severe light sensitivity and an autonomic nervous disorder. I have numbness and tingling throughout my body constantly. I wobble when I walk. I have balance issues. My nerves themselves in places feel as if they are constantly on fire. And even this isn’t all that I struggle with. The first 9 months of my recovery, I kept asking myself, “why me? what did I do?”

And I felt the thoughts of bitterness slowly begin to creep in. I felt the loss of family, loved ones, friends, a life that I once remembered and the activities that I did, and that we all did together. Gone, all gone. My life was over. There was nothing left. Being at rock bottom isn’t a phrase that can equate the immense and overwhelming emotions that I was having at the time. Yet, there it was again. That still, small voice, “this is truth, this is the way, follow me.” So I let go. I was on the edge of a cliff, ready to fall, hanging on to a sapling that was being pulled up by the roots. “Father, I trust you. All that I ever had, all that I ever was, all that I ever will be is yours.” At that very moment, the change inside began to take place. “We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts.” – 2 Peter 1:19.

“For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” – Hebrews 13:5. As I had lost everything pertaining to the flesh, it was also time to begin to let go of everything pertaining to self. Jesus tells us this, “He that forsaketh not ALL that he hath, cannot be my disciple.” My life, what I lost, what I was letting go of, is a manifestation of this principal of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I was at the very beginning of my understanding. I was at the very beginning of becoming as a child as the Scriptures says. Nothing in this world made any sense to me anymore.

“As I think, I know nothing. As I KNOW, I understand. As I walk, so I’m led.”

I truly had to become as a child and let go of everything that I thought I knew, of everything that this world taught me, my understanding of religious principals, of all of my education, and of all of my opinions. In doing so, as I had mentioned towards the beginning of this post, I was led to a brother who had knowledge and understanding in certain Gospel principles and was teaching the Bible in a way that I had never seen before. He was breaking down the original Hebrew and Greek languages and expanding on their meanings and definitions. He shared who we all were, where we all came from, why all of us were here, and what it was that we all did to the Lord God by being the Prodigal Son’s. Yet, all of his teachings weren’t entirely correct. It was as if he missed the Book of Romans, and never read the Book of Hebrews. He was telling people to live under the Law.

“For the law having a shadow of good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with those sacrifices which they offered year by year continually make the comers thereunto perfect.” – Hebrews 10:1

I was mesmerized and in a trance by the level of understanding that he had in certain things. In the areas that I wasn’t 100% sure, I just let it go and made justifications for it. So here I was again, putting my faith in a man. “You needn’t any man teach you… this is the way…” I came to the point once again after absorbing all that he was teaching, to go back to the source, the Bible, and read. Not just a verse or two that he was expanding on, but the verses before, and the verses after. Trusting even more, once again, in that still, small voice. As I began to do so, I was converted. I did learn portions of the Truth which is Jesus Christ from this man. But not the full Truth. Which in my life, I had experienced in every other ministry that I partook in. I was familiar with this feeling. I already knew what this was. I began pulling the weeds, so to speak, of all the errors in his understanding and began planting new seeds. Prior to what I would call a moment of clarity, despite all that I thought I knew, I had to dig deep through root words to find what I perceived to be truth. I was still digging for treasure every day and asking myself, why is this so difficult? Even though I had lost all that I had to the flesh, I was bearing no Spiritual fruits. I didn’t have perfect peace.

The Bible says this in Psalm 23, “He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Where were the green pastures? Why were the waters not still? The second part of the equation was missing. Letting go of everything pertaining to self. As I fully understood this, and believed everything that the Spirit was telling me, the perfect peace came. It was as if the roaring waves inside me had calmed. The tv shows, movies, media, news, etc., that I was watching, I no longer wanted any part of. The stuff that I was doing, I did not want to do anymore. All of my desires, thoughts, and actions were now centered on one thing, Jesus Christ.

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” Though I learned a portion of the Truth, Jesus plainly tells us this, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, no man cometh unto the Father but by me.”

We as a disciple of Jesus Christ are to forsake everything in this world, all that we have, this is the Way. Complete and total abstinence pertaining to the flesh. Also the Truth which comes by learning about who we all are, what we all did, and what we must do in order to go back Home. And finally, the Life which comes by communing with the Lord in His Word, by His every Word. As Peter so eloquently put it brethren, “Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk.” As I now read the Living Word, when the Bible says, “and His disciples heard it…” I literally understand what is being said. I HEARD it. And this message I share with you. “Rise up to the Truth until the day dawn, and walk even as He walked, as the Day Star arises in your heart, letting go of the former man, and putting on the new. As you do, the sun shines forth, ever brighter, for the darkness continues to fade away. And you forsake the previous things, for the darkness can no longer be seen.” May you all be blessed with the Everlasting Gospel of Peace. For the love of the brethren, my friends.

“I went and found a treasure buried in a field. Which blossomed into a pasture that I graze on everywhere. And every time that I am out, I want to go back in, and when I come back out again, there is less of me even there.”

Jonathan Heller – Lift Up A Banner